this is new for me...

Okay I usually don't talk about my sex life or lack of one on this site for a couple reasons... It's not cuz I'm prude-y about that kind of thang but I'm...just kinda discreet or modest. It's like sex brings out my split personality. I've been known to talk about it like a guy in a locker room and then I've been known to blush like I'm a virgin bride at the mere subject. So I'm just goofy about the whole thing. I blame my mom. (When all else fails blame mom. Although to be honest this one is totally on me.) Yet, I digress.
The reason for this post is just to vent. And here I go. This morning I woke up horny as HELL. I've always been a sex in the morning type of girl. Well, a little in the night and then some wake up sex to cap it off. Again I digress. I don't know if my hormones are raging because it's that time (5 or 6 days after Aunt Flo and my body is all like "let's make some BABIES) or if it's cuz I got a midnight booty call from a "friend". The funny thing is I have a few friends who want to have sex with me. And I have been holding out...when I was younger casual and SAFE sex was no big (well I wasn't free flowing with any bruh to come down the pike and I did want a relationship) but it wasn't as complicated as it is now. Now (and some people might get this and some might not) it's not that I just want it in a relationship (which I do) but I also don't feel like being that intimate just to get my rocks off. So anyway, I've been holding out on these "friends" because I know it's only about sex and neither of them wants anything else from me and me from them. One of them it's easy cuz the sex is just pretty bad. He's a sweetie but it ain't happening. The next (my 3 am) booty call is more difficult because he is a temptation. This guy is all kinds of wrong. I don't trust him. He's not respectful and he's very blatant with it just being sex. He calls it "honest" which it is but damn show some tact or affection. Anyway, I'm all "no, no". Yesterday (this morning) I was cool but I woke up about to climb up my bedroom wall. I called him. I texted him too. Fortunately he didn't answer because he would'a got worked this manana. So that of course left me with a problem (so to speak) which I set about rectifying. I won't go into details but let's just say my machinations would have made a good episode of Sex and the City. So while it was cool it just wasn't the same of course. Yet, I know if I sleep with Mr. Gigolo I'll get an instant thrill but then I'll get all moody and depressed after. And it's just not worth it. (okay guess I answered the question I was gonna put to y'all but of course I'm open to all views)